Global Warming Update - Eskimos Spot First Palm Tree

"body">managed to wangle a trip to Florida.
In an especially inarguable event that global warmingWhen he saw the strange object, his brows fretted
is proceeding apace, a group of Eskimos noticed -and he looked up, saying, "I thought you went
while hunting for caribou on the sort of unusuallycaribou hunting?"
balmy day that they've been experiencing with"We did," one of the hunters replied.
ever-growing frequency - a tree they were not"I did not know that there are caribou in Florida," he
familiar with, growing high above the tundra.said, questioningly.
Priding themselves on knowing the flora and fauna of"Florida?" another hunter asked, now even more
their land, they puzzled over the strange growth.mystified.
"Look," one said, "a tree I never saw before.""Yes, because as far as I know, this thing only grows
"No branches," another one puzzled.in Florida. As you know, once, in my younger days, I
"Even a bear couldn't climb it," a third one noted.went there for a mid-winter break."
Then one of them pointed to the groups of large"Then you know what it is?" the fellow who had
roundish green objects in the high and odd-lookingbeen hit on the head with it asked.
leaves, known in warmer climes as palm fronds."Yes, he replied. "It's called a coconut."
"Look," he speculated, "big fruit, maybe.""Coconut?" they variously puzzled, passing it around
Just then one of the ovoid objects happened tofor another look.
break loose and fall toward them."Yes," the elder confirmed. "Where did you find it?"
Unfortunately, for the fellow who had just identified"In a tree we never saw before."
it as fruit, the object hit him on the head and, being"And where did you see this tree?" the wizened man
rather heavy and hard, it knocked him out.questioned.
When he awoke, he felt the lump on his head, and"In caribou country," one of the hunters affirmed.
concluded, "Not very ripe.""I swear," another added.
Respecting the environment, as all Eskimos are"Then," he told them, "thanks to global warming, our
famously known to do, except when poaching, theyway of life is about to change. You have found a
decided not to chop the tree down to take it backpalm tree in Alaska."
via dogsled for identification but to settle for"Palm tree?" they wondered.
returning with the unidentified object that had hit"Yes," he said, and whacked the coconut with a large
their unsuspecting fellow villager on the noggin.knife.
When they got back to their village, they wentHe savored a sip of the nectar within and, passing
straight to the village elder, who was revered forthe coconut around so the hunters might experience
many reasons, one of them being that he was thethe milky delectation, he concluded, "And so, if I live
only resident of the village who, one year when thelong enough, maybe I will get to enjoy the climate of
salmon catch had been especially bountiful, hadFlorida without having to make another trip there.